and I liked it. A lot.
But you may not. Say, if you're my mom. Or my grandma. You won't like it.
Because this will not be the book club selection of choice in my Utah clubbing circles. (if I had them. circles. or clubs. I mean.)
So this post is my own personal book club. With myself.
The honesty was refreshing. I mean the honesty from a Mormon was refreshing. Mormon's are very honest people. I'm not saying that they aren't. But when it comes to personal thoughts and feelings, we're not all that open. or honest.And the author, herself, admits openly lying to people as she shares her experiences. So she isn't completely honest either. But she admits things that most Mormons wouldn't. Like....um....well things that I wouldn't admit.
I mean I can't even admit questioning my personal faith without feeling guilty.
But reading her experiences was freeing in the sense that I have always been so anxious about doing things wrong. Upsetting people, authority figures, and God. Like in high school, being tardy to class was anxiety invoking for me. So I began to look at it in the opposite light, I acted like I didn't care about being tardy. I would slow down everything. Walking, socializing, putting things in my backpack. And then if I was tardy, so be it. But it took one extra anxiety producing thought out of my mix. And just doing that calmed me down.
I never doubted, only believed what I was told. Smoking was bad? I shouldn't hang out with other people who smoke. I lost some friends that way. Same for drinking. That was the black and white of my world.
And now I question. I don't believe some of what I used to believe. And I wish that it was okay to talk bout it. To address it. Without feeling judged.
I'm not there yet. But Elna is. And I enjoyed reading about it.
