writing on a Saturday night...but posting now.

except that my post just got deleted. and it was great. i mean really great. the type that plagiarists are made from.

but now gone. forever. inspired by this little jiffy of a movie. and i'm sad because you'll never understand how i felt coming home from it.

and neither will i. because my memory is exactly that long. no more.

ready for a scream.

I'm about to attempt this:

on the child who refuses comb and hair to touch.

I wouldn't walk into these depths....but a trial ballet course beckons.

We shall see if it is worth the fuss.

eating...

and cooking. a. lot.

we can't eat out as much. because my job went down by 1/2. and we moved. and i'm not eating the sugar. so meal plans and weekly shopping lists have become my norm.

i can't cook through an entire meal without some diet coke and a bit of npr. if i drank wine, i'm sure it would be a bottle a night. because there is joy in the slice and heat if i can sip my way through. if not, i'm miserable and tired.

millie and ellis don't seem to enjoy my home cooked meals, unless they consist of chicken nuggets and hot dogs. clin has been pretty positive. until monday. cumin chicken topped with a radish and watercress salad did not excite. either of us.

but then we ate. and learned that lemon juice completely takes the bite out of radishes. and avocados can make the most un-appetizing looking watercress taste divinely fresh. yeah for success.

so last night i had high hopes for gazpacho drizzled in olive oil. with a bit of rustic country bread on the side to hook the sugar-ites of the family.

i assumed that two weeks without sugar would turn me into a gazpacho loving fiend. new tastes to replace the old. you know?

it didn't work. an enemy to gazpacho will i forever be. i couldn't even finish the bowl. and allowed millie and ellis to follow suit.

thank goodness for leftover diet coke and a platter of cheese....and the scent of rustic breadiness.

sunk.

So remember this? Thanks to a neighbor, one YouTube video, and a few phone calls to Papa Eaton, Clin was able to fix a sprinkler valve.

I know! Handiness does run in the family. Just not much patience. To get to the needed result.

But we didn't have to hire. Nor do we have dead grass.

What we do have?

Sinkage.

So now, we need some dirt. A whole lot 'o' dirt. To stuff under the sidewalk. And build back up our flower bed.

Any recommended dirt shops?

listening...

This song puts me in a good place.

Thanks be.

in love.

i love Carol Channing. i do. absolutely. she is crazy. and amazing. fearless. and probably a diva. but i don't care. she is funny. and talented. she says what she is thinking and does whatever. and when i grow up, i hope i'm the same way.

and if you are one of those people that think i'm insane for being entertained by Carol, then i would bet that you have never seen her perform in person. and if you have, and you still think that.....well, then i would say that you have poor taste.

i saw her live, in a tour of Hello, Dolly, my senior year of high school. my thoughts were entranced. i was hypnotized. i couldn't fathom how someone that age, 74-ish at the time, could dance and sing, and act and be on stage for most of the 2 hours. but more than that? she made the show new. lines that i had memorized and said, and tired of, became funny in a new way. and i wasn't so sick of Dolly Levi anymore.

AND, she was better than Barbara.

i said it.

and i mean it.

and i'll never take it back.

her voice, her interactions, her insanely huge mouth, brought reality to the character. the small quirks, and craziness that everyone has in one way or another? you know, what makes us real? Carol just is Carol. and that is what made Dolly interesting.

why am i even talking about this? this week on Kathy Griffin My Life on the D List...

yes i love that show. it is crude sometimes. but it makes me laugh. and since i'm not crude. and can't be. can't i enjoy someone else with the freedom? I say yes.

...Kathy asked Carol to come and present her with a star on the Palm Beach walk of fame. she did this by handwriting a note and sticking it to Carol's front entry with a piece of gum.

Carol showed up! and presented the star. didn't know Kathy. didn't care about the gum. and was fun.ny.

i love her.

that's all.

photo via zemistor

off the drug...

One week. and 2.5 days. I've been off the sugar. None. I'm giving it one more to even out. and stop the cravings.

What drove me to such despair? Because quitting the sugar is despair. my happy is sugar. and goodness. and everything food good equals sugar.

On our recent drive to Portland, OR, I consumed 2 whole packages of sugar wafers. By myself. And I loved every second of it.

I'm also tired of my skin touching skin. I'm not talking about when a hand gently rests upon the other hand. Or when my elbow bends to scratch my back and the forearm and bicep are forced together. Oh, no. I'm talking about the skin that should not be constantly touching anything. Except clothing. And it bugs.

So I'm taking control. Trying to conquer. Because it is something I can control. And even if the joy is gone, at least I can find joy in being able to completely control something. Right?

photo via Cayusa