singing.

This is my final camp post - I promise.

Camp theme - Steadfast and Immovable like the stars.

The entire time I kept thinking:

Stars are not steadfast and immovable. What about shooting stars?
What about stars that blow up or die out? Stars are constantly changing,
aren't they?

And yet I don't think I got through singing the camp's theme song one time without crying. It never failed - by the third verse I was sobbing and if I looked at another person, I began blubbering even more and there was no chance of hiding it or working through it back to a sustainable singing sound. I would sing it for you right now, but I don't want to make you sit through tears. You know, I'm all about the your comfort.

I don't think it was the words of the song - but more the idea. And the fact that 100+ girls were singing in the middle of the forest overlooking beautiful mountains covered in trees, singing. I think that would make anyone weep a bit.

And since I'm ranting about singing - the camp songbook stunk. Where were all the fun songs? Alligator, Watermelon Rind, Fried Ham, Barges, Weenie Man (actually this one was there but the words had been changed to make it less offensive to someone), and the list goes on and on.

We sang the same songs over and over and most were repeat songs like Princess Pat or Sipping Cider. Isn't camp all about singing? And loving it? And singing lots? Am I alone in this?

Honestly I had a great time. I found a bit of myself that hasn't appeared in years. Not since kids, marriage, college...and it was fun to visit her. Maybe I can get her to stay around a bit longer.

feeling good.

Teenagers are a strange species. One minute they are judging you and the next they are making you feel like the greatest person on earth.

At camp this past week - there were a few of those moments. You know. Unexpected compliments coming from the last person you would expect to think nicely/highly of you. Perhaps this isn't that uncommon - but I'm always surprised when a teenager says something kind to me. Why? I think because I assume they think of me the same way my fellow high schoolers thought. I'm on guard. Thinking, "they're judging me" or "oh, they consider me old and don't care what I think" or "I'm a goon."

There were a few instances this past week that made my life. Literally.

1. One girl asked me to do her hair. What? Where did that come from? How could she ever think that I could do hair? Has she seen my mop? I warned her. Strongly warned her that my hair repertoire only consists of one hairstyle. I call it Toddler. And literally it is the exact hairstyle that I give to my 3 year old every single day. But she insisted. I did her hair. Two pigtails on top that connect to two pigtails in the back. She smiled. HUGE smile. And insisted that she loved it. Fun.ny.
   
2. I led the nature hike...and the plan was to do sensory work, having them journal about each sense and the experience as we walked. Well, it started out fine...and then the rain came. The weather turned cold. Really cold. Towards the end I thought that some of the girl's noses were going to fall off. Each small activity that I had them complete was cut short by their desire to get out of the cold. And journaling? Some attempted. Others gave up. At the end of the walk - most were fleeing towards camp. I was in the back and the last girl came up to me and told me, "That was wonderful." What? Really? Did you just experience what I experienced? Evidently not. And that was a good thing. And again - my life was made and while not all got that experience, one did. And I felt good.
   
3. One girl really likes guns, and is a bit of a tomboy, and brought an airgun (which she slept with under her pillow until I asked her to put it away), and does not ever show emotions, came up to me at the end of camp and said, "I have cried more at this camp than my whole life." And I promise she meant cry as in cathartic good cry. (Not sad, homesick, awful cry.)
   
4. I can now tell the twins apart, by name, and had a great time getting to know them - and they brought me a thank you note and chocolate covered cinnamon bears after it all ended. And I ate them all. And I felt loved.
   
5. The girls put together their own skit - wrote it and everything. And they included a song at the end, which I suggested, and it made it so much fun. And they included the line, "I feel a song coming on" directly before the song. Can't beat that.

I had a wonderful week.

old.

I am 31. I am also the oldest leader in our church young women's group. That is right - 31 is old. I have never been the oldest at anything. An.y.thing. There has always been someone older who I look to for information. You know, because they have experienced it all before. Older is wiser - always has been for me.

At camp this past week, it was evident that while I was the oldest I definitely was not the wisest.

I haven't camped since I was in high school. (Or, I guess you could count my time in Madagascar as partial camping, but even that was 10 years ago.)

I learned some sound advice:

• As the old leader - I'm also the last that the youth want to ride with. I take this as an honor.


• I learned how to set up a 6 man tent and to take down a 10 man tent. In the past I have only ever used a 2 person tent - so I felt very rich in-deed as the other leaders shared their mansions with me.
  
• Bears exist and even if they don't reveal themselves to you they invade your thoughts. Constantly. But I don't think that bears like spices. We know they like food. Thus the rules of no food in tents and everything locked in the trailer at night (including garbage). But what if spices are left out? I hate to admit this, but we left out spices. Bears did not appear in our camp. Thus I'm of the understanding that bears enjoy mild foods.
  
• The Sego Lily is the state flower of UT


• You can make a mean garlic bread out of hot dog buns.


• Strawberry shortcake is AWESOME with twinkies.


• I can last an entire week without a diet coke. Okay, it was actually only 3 whole days and two half days without - so that would be about 4 days - which in a 7 day week can totally be rounded up to a whole week.


• Modern day camping lanterns are battery powered and can be turned off with the simple flip of a switch!


• The Brown Headed Cowbird is a parasite


• The young women may not know U2, ColdPlay's latest song, or Whitney Houston diddies from the '80s - but the second I broke into All in This Together from High School Musical the world as they know it was blown apart and they couldn't stop talking about it for days. (It must have been the amazing dance moves.)

For an oldie I'd say that was a lot of learning.

hiking.

Today I am at Girl's Camp. And I am taking our girls on a nature hike this morning through an area that I've never been. So we will be doing a lot of meditation - thinking, observing, asking questions and journaling.

My parents are in town to take care of the girls and Clin (seeing as we all know how well Clin functions on his own. Ha! Joke - Clin. You miss me, right?) so that I get a four day vacation with teenage girls.

Vacation. That is right! I plan on sleeping getting between 8 to 12 hours each night, living off of roasted marshmallows and a little thing called smores, and communing with nature. Oh, and journaling. Lots and lots of journaling to once again find the inner me that gets lost amidst the daily baby poop and whining.

(Happy Sigh.)

photo via Cape Cod Cyclist