Thursday, July 23, 2009

mediocre.

that's what I'm learning. from age. from moving. from me.

perhaps i should rename this blog. musings on mediocrity. because i feel like that's what it is. but that's kind of mediocre of me. and I'm sure someone else has taken it. so I'll just give up before i even get to the google.

freedom from responsibility has been nice. is nice. and i'm dragging my feet. i'm good at being mediocre. i'm good at giving up on things because others are better. like taking up the oboe in 8th grade, because i couldn't beat Misha for 1st chair. and then going back to clarinet in 9th because Misha was no longer taking band. and i wasn't really any good at oboe either.

or making and being a friend. i'm not so good on reciprocity. like when i take someone, who is really good at being a friend, to a musical and spend the entire night talking about myself. or forget birthdays. or not really care about birthdays.

and having no real desire to meet people in our ward. so sitting and watching. and running away the second the 3rd hour ends. ready for the reprieve of home.

taking the girls to 7 Peaks, and rocking the sunscreen for the tots, while forgetting something called my back. and am now inhabiting a toasted shell.

and waking the next morning. sleeping through Millie bringing in books, tucking me back into bed, and sleeping in a groggy fog. until Millie screams:

Mom. Ellis just peed on the floor. I heard her pee.

and i turn to look at Ellis standing in a puddle. staring at me. asleep.

potty training also failing to mediocrity.

5 comments:

Tanya Dow said...

ha, ha, you are so funny! There is no way that you are just mediocre! You are so funny, entertaining, & talented which in no way describes mediocrity in my book. As for potty training...good luck! I just finished training my 4th child and I thought I knew what I was doing but it didn't happen until SHE decided is was going to happen (that was right after her 3rd b-day...my other girls were just over 2). Darn stubborn kids.

Anna said...

Welcome back! You are anything but mediocre. But I know how you feel, especially on those days when I realize my occupation is "homemaker" and then I look around and realize that the dishes aren't done, I have no idea what to make for dinner, and Miles is wearing a diaper and orange Popsicle down his front. How's that for a run-on sentence?

Sherry Carpet said...

nice try, jacks. we don't buy it.

ps. you have incredibly high standards, you understand excellence and you are blessedly self-aware. too critical of yourself, sure, but that's to be expected.

ad65shorty said...

So glad to know you're alive!!! I've missed your musings! I have no way to contact you. Please call. Let's play!

Bradley Moss said...

What's wrong with mediocre? I crave mediocrity - it's what sets me apart in my calling from those who magnify their callings.