homeowner 101.

I should have listened to the clues.

Millie woke up screaming that the sprinklers were still on. I should have looked at the time.

Then Clin was sad and distraught because the paper was soaked. So he called for a new paper.

At about 9:20, when I finally was a bit more functional. Okay elephant. Yes, it took me 2+ hours to function this morn. I know it is wrong. and I'm not a fan. But I am having the cramps today. and that is where I place the blame.

I opened the front door to a new paper. In a plastic bag. And the sprinklers were STILL going. And then I heard dripping. As in, the sound that a drip makes when it lands in a pond. Or better yet, a lake.

And that lake was in our front window well. I turned the aim of the front bed sprinklers away from the window. Ran to the garage and turned off the sprinklers.

Millie: THEY'RE STILL ON!

I called Clin. No answer. (And, may I point out, he still has not called me back. Nice way to ignore a disaster.)

So I call the previous homeowners. Long story, but we're still in touch.

Female Previous Owner (FPO): Turn off valve in basement.

I turn it off.

Millie: THEY'RE STILL ON!!!!

Phone Call from FPO: Not basement. Front yard green box.

Run out. Now soaking wet, and still in pjs. Turn the switch. And they are off.

And as far as I can tell, the same bank of sprinklers were on for 3 hours and forty minutes.


Um, so now what. Two buckets, and seven trips to the back yard later, I was able to get the water down below the cement portion of the window. In doing so I whacked my head on the cement above the window. And cried. A lot. That is when Millie and Ellis fled to the solace of inside snacks. And a raid on the band-aids.



And now I wait. I can feel the bruises forming on my right thy and knee from leaning over the metal thingy. And I itch all over. Because I saw 2 black widows and numerous other things crawling around and I'm completely itchy. I sprayed everything I saw. but the black ones still walked away.



So Clin. If I die today. You now know why.