Wednesday, May 13, 2009

angry...

i've been angsty. and angry. a lot lately. and whenever i get this feeling, i just want to beat something up.

...like a pillow. or a blanket. because i'm pretty much a wimp.

i remember feeling this way in college. one night. after play rehearsal, i ended up walking home alone. at about midnight. i had the alarm that judy gave to me in case i found myself in this exact situtation. but i didn't pull it out.

i walked quickly. and kept thinking, not tonight rapist. don't even attempt. and if you do, i will not allow it. i will so hurt you. bad. really bad. because i am not in the mood. not even. so bring it. i dare you to even try.

because in my angst i get numb. and feel a bit of the outer body in my thoughts. looking at them as if they don't really effect me. judging them as if they don't belong to me.

and can't hurt.

3 comments:

Clin A. Eaton said...

Hmmm. Time to make no-bake cookies. With added Pamprin.

Jacks said...

What.ever. Seriously - Pamprin can help with cramping, but not the emotional shifts that come with the hormone changes. Nine years, and have I taught you nothing???

Liz said...

No-bakes and prozac. It's a definite winning combo. :P

You can chase it with Terms of Endearment...that'll help you get the tears out. Or provide you with any necessary cathartic experience you may be currently in need of.