counting sheep.

4:00 AM - Clin's parent's house.

I awake to a distant scream.

Doorbell rings.

Scream escalates.

Millie's awake. Yelling for me. But 3 hours and 40 minutes ago I dragged myself from the couch, wiped the saliva off my arm and angrily took myself to bed in the basement. Millie was sleeping in an upstairs bedroom near Poppa and Granny Lany.

All of the thoughts running through my head stopped me from quickly returning to my slumber. I began obsessing on my list of things to do:

1. Call Sis. D about arranging horse back riding for YW this month. But she may be out of town, in which case I need to find a new activity and will have a lot to do to plan for this week...


2. Make a list of freezer meals and grocery list for freezer meal activity.


3. Find a 1 to 2 lb rock....go to sleep already.....


4. Create a handout about rocks. Perhaps could give each small rocks, or perhaps rock candy. Need to ask Alana where to find rock candy.


5. Why can't I sleep?


6. YW will have to be at my house this week. I will have to clean. When was the last time I cleaned? I really don't have time to clean. When will I clean?


7. Complete online orientation for work.


8. What if YW don't want to come to my house?


9. I have a library board meeting on Wed - so need to schedule YW for Tuesday or Thursday.
   
   
10. SLEEP ALREADY! Why can't I sleep?

Turn over. Angry at world. Start list again:

1. Call Sis. D about arranging horse.....etc.

Eventually the lists turned into sheep.

Then. Loud crying. Distant scream. Doorbell rings. Screaming escalates.

I realize that Millie thinks I'm still on the couch and when I'm not there she sets the doorbell off by loudly screaming which begins a cycle of louder screams.

"Clin - Millie's screaming."

That's right. I sent Clin.

I felt bad, for a second, and then I turned over and started counting. Again.