Tuesday, October 21, 2008

recapping my surprise.

I don't think that I like surprises anymore. I need a little time to prepare my brain for things. For visitors, for outings, for change in general. Everything goes much more smoothly if I have a heads up. That is what I have learned from Clin's most recent

I tend to get anxious before trips. The morning of departure, Clin and I are sure to have a squabble over something if we are packing together. This trip Clin was working the morning of departure. And I was running around, stressing that I wouldn't get the house relatively clean. That I would forget to tell Mom some important information regarding Millie and Ellis's particulars. And it always goes that certain things on my travel to do list remain incomplete.

After a morning of packing, stress, and checking things off of my list, my emotions were pent up. I was ready for Seattle. I was ready to see one show (1 dress. check. heels. check). And I was ready for rain (umbrella. check.)

By the time we get to the airport I am tired. Looking forward to a cushy hotel. cushy food. and cushy sleep.

And when I pressed the check in screen of the Delta kiosk, Seattle was no where to be seen. New York City. And all the thought and preparation I put into packing flew away. My only thought:

I know how to pack for NYC. I've been there. I didn't pack anything that I would have packed had I known where we were going. I refuse to wear heels in NY. I only have one dress. NY means multiple evenings of theatre. I don't have multiple evenings of dress and I REFUSE to wear heels in NY.
I could not get my mind off of the unnecessary weight and space my heels were taking in my suitcase.

The thought of a long plane ride compared to a short hop to Seattle brought me down a bit. I mean I would have brought a book rather than a magazine. See - I don't travel well. Movement, in general, makes me sick. Throw up, heat, unable to function sick. So when I travel I wear out. And I was starting this trip already worn.

As we talked about the trip, I discovered that everyone I knew already knew where we were going. What fun is that? Surprise for me alone? And I was angry. Just in general. Because my mind had not had a chance to settle into the thought. To prepare.

And by the time we got to the hotel I was not thinking straight, but excited to be going to a hotel. To sleep. To actually begin the vacation. And then the vacation began.

We were booked in a smoking room. The clerk made me feel stupid that I wanted non-smoking. Even going so far as to say, "It's just as clean as the other rooms." So we agreed to look at it (I know. Why would we even look??) And we got into the room and it was pretty, and it stunk, and the bathroom smelt like urine too.

Back to the front desk only to discover that the last non-smoking room was gone. And I was about to fling myself over the counter at the clerk and smack him around a bit. What? Why would you send us to check out a room if you were just going to give away the last non-smoking room? Don't you think that would have changed our decision?

So we returned to the smell. And I couldn't stop thinking about how stupid I was to think I could even sleep in a smoking room. That I even considered it. And then I realized the ramifications: my clothes will smell. My hair. My suitcase. Ahhhhhh!

And an hour or two later, when I was still awake due to a complete focus on breathing without using my nose, I burst into tears realizing that I was in hell. And the quick fall into sleep, and quick change to a new room was many more hours away than I originally expected.

Okay - so this sounds really petty. And I sound like the worst, most ungrateful wife that ever existed. And I probably am. But I wasn't mad at Clin. I was really excited - just angry in general. On the surface. And I don't handle fatigue well. Can you tell?

Go here for Clin's take on day one of our grand adventure.


Arianne said...

Oh my goodness. A smoking room really is hell. Awful--especially bad after a long day of travel.

Jacks said...

And now that a re-read all of this, I want everyone to know that I am thankful that I had a bed. Really. I am.